# 7. Transactional Analysis

Published 2024-09-05

> The three ego states are called - Parent, Adult and Child ego states . These three ego states comprise individual personality. Each ego state is an entire system of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours from which we intera

The three ego states are called - **Parent, Adult and Child ego states**. These three ego states comprise individual personality. Each ego state is an entire system of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours from which we interact with one another.

_**The Parent Ego State**_

**Your Parent is the recording of:** 

-   What you saw your mother, father, and other authority figures do and what you heard them say during your first five years of life.

**Your Parent Is:** 

-   An ego state and an influence.
-   Critical Parent messages are:
-   Judgmental.
-   Prejudicial.
-   States of right and wrong. Statements of acceptable and not acceptable.

**Examples of Critical Parent messages:** 

-   "Respect your elders."
-   "Don't talk to strangers."
-   "Don't ask so many questions."
-   "Speak when spoken to."
-   "Don't talk about money."

_**The Parent Ego State**_ 

**Nurturing Parent messages are:** 

-   Warm.
-   Comforting.
-   Supportive.
-   Loving.

**Examples of Nurturing Parent messages:** 

-   "It's OK. Mommy will make it better." 
-   "I know you did your best. That's all I care about."
-   "You get one for trying."

_**The Adult Ego State**_ 

**Your Adult ego state is:**

-    A conscious effort at recording as you separate yourself from your caregiver.
-   Ongoing throughout your life, beginning late in your first year.

**The Adult:** 

-   Acts as a referee between the demands of the Parent and the desires of the Child.
-   Is logical, rational, and analytical.
-   Determines whether the data in the Parent recording still applies and then accepts or rejects it.
-   Updates the feelings recorded in the Child's recording. Gives you the choice of whether or not to replay recordings that are no longer appropriate.

_**The Child Ego State**_

**Your Child ego state is:** 

-   A permanent record of your internal responses to external experiences that occurred during the first five years of your life.
-   A recording of how you felt, your instincts, intuition, and sense of physical self during those first five years.

**Your Child ego state has three components:** 

-   Natural Child-fun loving, creative, playful, spontaneous.
-   Rebellious Child-angry, fearful, intimidated, selfi sh.
-   Adapted Child-continually seeking approval and acceptance.

**The Little Professor:** 

-   Maintains a balance between the Natural Child and the Adapted Child.
-   Determines what behavior is necessary and permissible from moment to moment.
-   Figures out what people want, and what will make them angry, guilty, hurt.
-   Figures out what will get others to give in to the Child's wants.
-   Lives inside the Natural Child.
-   Avoids functioning as an Adult.

_**Ego States and Sales**_ 

**Salesperson** 

-   The salesperson must use their Nurturing Parent convey warmth, friendliness, and support:
-   "I can feel your frustration."
-   "I'd feel the same way if I were in your shoes."

**70/30 Rule**

The salesperson must apply the 70/30 Rule:

-   70% Nurturing Parent
-   30% Adult
-   Adult-directed communications are intellectual-rational and logical statements of fact and evaluations of data.

**Prospect**

The prospect uses all three ego states:

-   Child"I want it."
-   Parent - "I will not be taken advantage of."
-   Adult - "Does it make sense?"